I don’t care that I’m posting this on the internet. I need to put it somewhere before I go even more insane.
I’m so sick of feeling like this. I’m so lonely and nothing can cure it. How do I fill the void?My headspace is so intense all the time, the only time it’s not is when I’m blacked out drunk. I ache constantly for humanity, a burden I do not even want. I am hurt, I have tried to heal for so long and I really am starting to think that I am incapable of getting better. I have times of clarity and peace, they are so wonderful I cry sometimes because it is such a beautiful feeling to not feel all of the pain. But guess what? It never lasts. I just want to feel beautiful, loved, happy. I want to actually enjoy myself in a crowd of people for once, like really have a good time. I’m sick of being fucking alone in this dimension. I want to go home, not to my house - HOME. Maybe you understand, maybe you don’t. If you don’t, god bless you.
